Not Close and Very Far Away

Have you ever had something that you wanted so badly, but you never knew how you were ever going to accomplish it? Or a dream just so amazing, but no idea what steps were needed to ever hold that dream in your two hands? Well, when I was little, that dream was to be a mermaid fry cook that worked at McDonalds… Luckily, for everyone involved, my dream job has blossomed to something a little more attainable, although attainable is a relative word in the fashion industry.

If I could choose any occupation in the entire world, disregarding money or location, it would be *drum roll please* the head editor of Vogue. There, I said it. One of the things I want nearly most in the whole entire universe is a job that is almost virtually impossible to obtain. Can you hear my heart and soul being crushed in the background of this? With every click of my keyboard, you can hear a piece of my dream hitting the floor. It almost makes you laugh a little bit, in a not-so-funny pathetic sort of way! Vogue has the highest following of any fashion magazine and quite frankly, is sacred in the fashion/style community. And if all of this is not sad enough, here is the peak of my heart break; how is a small-town girl from Florida supposed to become the HBIC of a worldwide iconic magazine? Yet, even when every single odd is out of my favor, I still manage to have this huge determination to push down anybody that stands in my way. My next issue, then, is that this “take no prisoners” attitude of mine is a bit closeted.

I claim to have this fight that will kill anyone or anything in its path, but in reality, I am just afraid of failing. Sometimes when you want something so bad, it is easy to let yourself get in the way. And not in an “oh, I’ll just procrastinate for a little bit” kind of way, but more of an “I am never going to accomplish this, so I’ll watch 57 episodes of some show instead” situation. It tends to be a little aggravating at times because I don’t know why I can’t just get up and do something about it. For months and months my mom, fashion connoisseur, has been urging, almost pleading, me to start a blog. Today is that day, folks. I just created my Wix account so that I can finally get this show on the road. Don’t get too excited though, this is only my first post- baby steps.

College has given me so many exciting opportunities and continually gives rise to so many paths of inspiration. On the other hand, it has also given rise to intense anxiety and never-ending competition. Not to be dramatic, but there are quite literally endless amounts of amazing people in this world and college has just made me aware of all of them. That just means that there are that many more people that stand in the way of me and my future job as queen of the fashion universe. Not to mention, if I ever had the follow through to obtain this job, I would be following in the footsteps of the Anna Wintour, dear God those are some fabulous shoes to fill. There currently is no one else on campus competing for my crown, but I do enough comparing to psych myself out. In the end, my biggest road block is myself.

In the last few weeks I have concluded that I have far too much potential to let myself get in the way of anything that I want. This is something that we all need to be constantly reminded of. We are all full of gifts and talents specific to us, go and use them to do good; join me on this mission to follow whatever unattainable dream you have (it’s fun, I promise!). Because I am a quirky girl meant for the rock and roll era, in the great words of Electric Light Orchestra, “hold on tight to your dream.”